1/26/09 Anvil

Our speaker for the week is captivating, He is speaking on the humanity of Christ and what the truth of his humanity means. The biggest take away for myself has been the importance of being needy, and my struggle and sin of Idolatry.

To explain:

I struggle with not being needy, but needy in the form of knowing my needs and seeking proper help with them in order to mature. I tend to recognize my needs well but do a horrible job of asking for help in order to mature.

The sin of Idolatry in my life is of my flesh, or body. I am consumed with the way I look and so much so that it has mastered me. It has been the deciding factor in my jobs, eating habits, trips, basically all areas of my life and in a detrimental way. I put so much worth into having the well sculpted body, or as some of my friends would sat "rip out of my mind" that my very relationships, choices, and attitude were affected by achieving this goal. It is really sad to look back at how easy I could give up food and excersise myself to near passing out in order to accomplish this goal, and when trying to fast or be disciplined in my life in obediance to God, I would be the worst fighter in the ring, I cannot even last one round.

My Hopes:
That this brings hope that not all is lost for the individuals with struggles and sins as these and for the other Brothers and Sisters in Christ, that you would pray for my healing and deliverance.

Wetting the Whistle

Marty, our tour guide in Israel, has been with us for two days now. This man has been a joy since he got off the plane, I have been listening as he speaks so reverently about God, and what He has done for Marty and his family. I am eager to be in Israel with Marty, his experiences with the Lord and how he speaks of Israel excite me . He knows God as "Abba" or Father in English. During our Tuesday morning Anvil session, Marty, gave an incredible lesson on leadership which I was able to really take hold of and ponder for the whole day.  

Quick Update

As of this moment and time I have been in the Forge program at Pine Cove Christian Camps four and half months. I have another 3 and a half left until graduation and then I will be working another summer term at the Bluffs family camp. 

Life has been a roller coaster the past two and a half years. I have gone through Anxiety and Depression to an extreme I never imagined, I have met people of all walks of life. Life would best be described for me in Psalms 13. 

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me 

forever?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over

me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in

death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome

him," 

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I will trust in your unfailing Love; 

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord, 

for he has been good to me."

The first part of this Psalm describes my emotions and thoughts for the past two years, and the ending part of the Psalm speaks of the truth of God, that he has unfailing love, and to rejoice in his salvation, sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me. This to me is the truth that should be lived by no matter my emotions. God has saved me and been good to me. This is the truth no matter how I feel at times.