I take a while to process stuff worth writing.
God has been allowing me to throw my little temper tantrums lately with our relationship.
I was giving up slowly and denying it the whole way. I just was not willing to put in the work that it takes to follow Him. This was all news to me as it began to be revealed through this week in Israel. Prayer has been a lazy aspect in my life, I was not fighting or wrestling in prayer like one can and should if he/she are serious about inquiring of the Lord. Along with that revelation, it was also brought to my attention how much the individuals God has placed in my life love and care for me. The whole trip in Israel I was confronted with loving acts of service, and tough words of truth and challenges to ponder. I kept saying that I felt as though I was standing at a crossroads were the road split to five different directions. Frustrated by not knowing which way to go I would stand there and pity myself about my lack of guidance. The truth is that it was a lack of Faith on my part, Faith to take the first step and allow God something to work with. I actually was waiting for the Lord to shove me in a certain direction and so I would not have to do any of the work involved in trusting Him. It is amazing the blinders that I can where at times. I can only thank God and the many prayers that I have been receiving from other faithful believers in my life. God is faithful and he calls me to be the same.
